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...just a small window into my torment and the attempts to mitigate it.
The Joke Thread
Moderators: flyingpolarbear, Eric@PPE, VicC, James B.
'll 
Stranger than fiction!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... u-tJz953vE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... u-tJz953vE
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Hog
- Posts: 5036
- Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: 1997 Chev ECSB L31 350 1997 GMC Sierra SLE RCSB, Ontario
Weight loss program
Weight Loss Program
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."
He lost 33 kilos that week.
peace
Hog
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."
He lost 33 kilos that week.
peace
Hog
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Speeder
- Posts: 10772
- Joined: Fri Apr 30, 1999 9:12 pm
- Location: 2015 Tahoe 2WD 5.3L 6L80E, 2008 Colorado work beater, 2003 Dodge Dakota pro-touring project
I was looking for something for the house. The item in question had this warning attached to it.
"About California Proposition 65
California's Proposition 65 entitles California consumers to special warnings for products that contain chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm if those products expose consumers to such chemicals above certain threshold levels. We care about our customers' safety and hope that the information below helps with your buying decisions. "
This is what the warning was on. I decided against buying it not because of the warning but because it's made in China. Plus I didn't want to catch cancer or something off it. Probably because it's Chinese.
"About California Proposition 65
California's Proposition 65 entitles California consumers to special warnings for products that contain chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm if those products expose consumers to such chemicals above certain threshold levels. We care about our customers' safety and hope that the information below helps with your buying decisions. "
This is what the warning was on. I decided against buying it not because of the warning but because it's made in China. Plus I didn't want to catch cancer or something off it. Probably because it's Chinese.
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Whipped383
- Posts: 2104
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 9:12 pm
- Location: Salt Lake, 97K1500,ECSB, 383,Whipple,0411,Marine, 03K2500,CCSB,8.1&Allison, Whipple in progress
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CrazyHoe
- Posts: 6228
- Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:30 am
- Location: Mtl; '98 2dr4x4 Tahoe, L31,Hookers Long T, 0411,EFIlive, 4L80-E,dual 3",marine int+inj
Just'a good ol' boys
Never meanin' no harm.
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Since the day they was born
Staightnin' the curves
Flatnin the hills
Someday the mountain might get 'em
But the law never will
https://youtu.be/wESRYDrgc-8
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Since the day they was born
Staightnin' the curves
Flatnin the hills
Someday the mountain might get 'em
But the law never will
https://youtu.be/wESRYDrgc-8
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97k15004wd
- Posts: 1167
- Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:32 pm
- Location: Waikikamukau
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hquick
- Posts: 4689
- Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 1:56 pm
- Location: Melbourne, Oz-----98 K1500 LT Suburban. RHD, 0411, Whipple, Marine, 4L80E, Trutrac, H/boost,E-Fans
My wife was standing naked, looking into the bedroom mirror..
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me “I look old, fat and ugly...I really need you to pay me a compliment�.
I replied..�your eyesight’s damned near perfect�.
.
And that’s when the fight started.
🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me “I look old, fat and ugly...I really need you to pay me a compliment�.
I replied..�your eyesight’s damned near perfect�.
.
And that’s when the fight started.
🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣